Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just had sex on a roof
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
