and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
