the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
