I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
