i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize