im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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