I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize