I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
