some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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