now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
