I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
