if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
