At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
are you so shy because you have an std?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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