so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
