Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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