I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
