Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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