May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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