I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize