I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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