I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
