According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
