Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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