Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
