Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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