miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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