I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize