Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
