I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize