I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize