She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You are a genius and a whore.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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