Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
They left me at home... I'm a liability
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
