Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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