i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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