It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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