Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
