So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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