Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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