He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
