Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
