She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
