he shaved USA in his pubs
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
