you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The air taste purple.
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