ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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