the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
