she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
