its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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