is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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