oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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