so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
