Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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