Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
