So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
