Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
