i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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