I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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