things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
