Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
